I recently came across this article on Elepanthjournal.com with the same title, and it made me think, We live in a society where emotions and friendships and time and love have become a game. There’s a proper procedure to be followed if you want the other person to return your emotions, there is a proper time to say what you feel and there is a prescribed way to behave when in a relationship, be it any relationship.
To me, saying ‘I love you’ means, I want the best for you and I value all parts of you, not just the favourable and pretty parts; the good, the bad and the ugly. I can feel that for someone right away. Some people just do it for me. True, eventually with time, that feeling might grow. But like a tree, when it is young and small, it is still a tree, it is not anything else, that’s the case with love and emotions too. They are there. Time may make them grow, like a big strong tree, but they never shrink. They are always there. And i choose to feel that everyday, fall in love everyday, instead of waiting for a perfect moment.
We wait for a proper time to fall in love, and we wait for a proper time to tell the other person how we feel in dread that they might not say it back. But is that what love really is about? Reciprocation? Yes, it is infinitely better when the person we say it to also says it back, but if that doesn’t happen, love isn’t all about that. If we think love is about what we get in return that’s wrong. Giving out love should feel as good as getting it back. Is that what your emotions are about? Reciprocation? I dont think so. We feel because we choose to feel in a particular way. And that is our choice.
The trouble with choosing to trust someone is it’s like having blind faith.we do it, even when common sense is screaming at us not to. We put ourselves out there, hoping on all hopes that the other person is doing the same. That they get it. And they’ll be careful with you and your soul. Because that’s what we would do. But if that doesn’t happen, its not on them. We CHOSE to put ourselves out there, that is who you are, and there’s nothing wrong in choosing to trust.
True : Not everyone will feel the way you do, not everyone will reciprocate, or respect your feelings. But that is not the point. If you love somebody, it is your choice to love, and you should love. It shouldn’t depend on whether the other person loves you or not. Love is about care and concern and happiness of the person you love, and you chose to put yourself there. So respect your emotions, love, with all your heart and soul, even if the other person doesn’t reciprocate. These are your feelings, honour them.
Don’t let the procedure people follow, or the ‘proper way to do things’ guide your emotions. If you love someone, let them know. If nothing, it will make them feel good about themselves. If you like the food you’re eating, compliment the chef, he did a good job. If you like the song you’re listening, write to the artist, you never know what and how these words of kindness and appreciation will help them get through with their lives. I have had moments myself when, someone gave me a small compliments and they had made my day!
When it comes to emotions, Its my books and movies and Tv shows that have taught me, there is never a right time to express them. There is never a tomorrow. If you feel it, express it, out loud, otherwise, the moment just passes you by. And you live in regrets of what ifs.
We ruin our lives by desensitizing yourself. We are all afraid to say too much, to feel too deeply, to let people know what they mean to us. Caring is not synonymous with crazy. Expressing to someone how special they are to you will make us vulnerable. There is no denying that. However, that is nothing to be ashamed of. There is something breathtakingly beautiful in the moments of smaller magic that occur when you strip down and are honest with those who are important to you. Let that person know they inspire you. Tell your mother you love her in front of your friends. Express, express, express. Open yourself up, do not harden yourself to the world, and be bold in who, and how, you love. There is courage in that.
I can’t tell you how important it is that you don’t walk this earth as a jaded shadow of who you once were. Before. Before you felt your heart and world shatter and disperse in places so far from where you are right now, you don’t believe you’ll ever get all of those pieces back again. Don’t do that. Don’t stop being vulnerable. Don’t stop trusting people who are going to walk into your life, before they even do. Being a person who does not trust is being a person who is never fully comfortable with life, always on edge, never at peace.
There is nothing wrong in being totally in touch with all your emotions. There is nothing wrong with telling people how you feel, acting upon your emotions. Infact if you are one of those people, you’re a rare specimen because you, choose your life daily. You choose to be happy, sad, upset, ecstatic, everyday. You choose to not be bitter, you choose to not others define who you are and how you act. You choose to believe in yourself and trust your emotions, rather than the publicly accepted notions.
I won’t ever stop being the girl who chooses to trust. She is vulnerable. She is brave. She is kind. She is strong. She is resilient. She believes in good. She believes in people.
She believes in herself.
Songs to accompany : ( Might feel weird choice for songs, but these make me feel .. a Lot)
- Pink Floyd : Coming Back to Life
- Avett Brothers : I and Love and You
- The Beatles : Hey Jude
- Bird York : In the Deep
- The Civil Wars : D’arline
- Mumfird and Sons : Thistle and weed